YOYA

Heaven help me, I'm still here
My imaginary friends are dead
Everyone that I knew getting stranger
Everyone I know is tapping out

Held on to the plan for too long
It turned back into a dream
I keep waking up in my old body
I keep feeling for what I can't see

Don't hide
Flash your silver lining in the low light
Carry us with both ha-a-a-a-a-ands, Jesse
Both ha-a-a-a-a-ands, now
Don't hide
Flash your silver lining in the low light
Carry us with both ha-a-a-a-a-ands, Jesse
Both ha-a-a-a-ands, now

The streets have gone black and empty
The best of us have gone berserk
I don't know what it means to go too far
I hurt you cause I've been hurt

What a year
Ahh-ah-ah-ah-ahh

This has a name but the name isn’t mine
I take my pulse, take my breath, take my time
And on the stage in parade you form a line
And when it’s over am I horrified?

Oh no, I’m just the man behind the camera
Oh no, I’m just the man behind the screen
Oh no, I got a secret and it calls to me
It calls to me

So bury it, bury it, bury it with my body
I’m gonna carry it, carry it, carry it to my grave
Bury it, bury it, bury it with my body,
There ain’t nothing left to save

I call the actors by their characters’ names
I make the rules, I keep the score, and they play the game
Keep on pretending I’m the one who won’t change
But does my shadow fall across the stage?

Oh no, I’m just the man behind the camera
Oh no, I’m just the man behind the screen
Oh no, I got a secret I don’t dare to lose
Or choose to keep

Though I’ve been saving all my life
Wondering how it’s gonna get me there
And if I end up with an empty prayer
Well I did it all for me, it called to me

So bury it, bury it, bury it with my body
I’m gonna carry it, carry it, carry it to my grave
Bury it, bury it, bury it with my body,
There ain’t nothing left to save
There ain’t nothing left

Late text
Glowing off the mattress
Cotton-mouthed and anxious
Only you would do this
It’s why you got your new friends
And I became an outline
Filled in by your spare time
Blind in all your bright lights

Hands waving over my eyes

I’m barely here, scraped out inside
I could be anybody else my dear
Anyone that you like
One body to count, seven more outside
I could be anybody else my dear
Anyone that you like

Poor things
They don't see it coming
And I’m loathe to warn them
I don’t spoil endings
The fuck am I doing?
Your selfishness is catching
Did you cough in my drink?
Enemies surround me

Hands waving over my eyes
Heads shaking no
(Don’t save me)
Seas breaking over the sides
(No, don't save me)
Hands waving over my eyes

Morning has broken
Our will along the creases
Blind with devotion
We smile as it all goes to pieces

So what’s left to prove now?
Why grow beyond all ambition?
What couldn’t be true now
Is burning bright as fiction

Settle down, I feel it too,
But I, I, I,
I’m waiting on the bloom
I’m too obsessed to be amused
But I, I, I,
I’m waiting on the bloom

What’ll we turn into?
Will we be what we meant to?

Settle down, I feel it too,
But I, I, I,
I’m waiting on the bloom
I’m too obsessed to be amused
But I, I, I,
I’m waiting on the bloom
Hold my breath and hide my eyes
But I, I, I,
Don’t know what else to do
I’m too obsessed to be amused
But I, I, I,
I’m waiting on the bloom

What’ll we turn into?
Will we be what we meant to?

Take my body ‘cross the ocean
Let the world turn below
Take me only where I’m going
Don’t you worry about my soul
Just get me there is all I’m asking
Back to the place where I was born
Where all we learned about compassion
We had to make up all on our own

Is this a lifetime?
No less no less no more
Between the bright lines
Oh no, oh no
Is this a lifetime?
Say yes say yes or no
Between the bright lines
What am I fighting for?

Who owns the land that holds my headstone?
Who is the girl that loves him so?
Who holds the hand that holds the weapon
We should have buried long ago?

Is this a lifetime?
Between the bright lines
Is this a lifetime?
Between the bright lines
What am I fighting for?

“Everyone lies.”
You said through the door
As if it could explain it all,
As if it stood for more.
It pulls at the wound
We make when we’re born,
With hurricane impatience
And dwindling remorse
And shifting eyes that bring us prying to the source

Everyone lies, and everyone knows
Sweetened or bitter, we swallow it whole

Cut on a lathe,
Turn over turn
You polish your existence
In a bright and glossy world
But you’re no craftsman,
Don’t lie to yourself
You got a little lucky
Just like everybody else
It doesn’t fit the story you were born to sell, but

Everyone lies, and everyone knows
Sweetened or bitter, we swallow it whole
Everyone lies, get in on the joke
Sweetened or bitter, we swallow it whole
Doesn’t everyone? Don’t you?

Make a smile and join our hands
Salt the ice and fake amends
At least we have a lot of friends
Doesn’t everyone?

Doesn’t everyone crack
The closer you look?
We see them in their shamelessness
But we’ll still read the book
We spit behind their backs but we’ll still read the book

Everyone lies, and everyone knows
Sweetened or bitter, we swallow it whole
Everyone lies, get in on the joke
Sweetened or bitter, we swallow it whole
Doesn’t everyone? Don’t you?

When the world was young
You left your traces in all our songs
And everyone you met, they couldn’t help but fall in love
When the world was young

When our bodies were new
You called the mountains, they answered you
And I could make an ordinary stone into a jewel
When our bodies were new

Oh early grey, what kind of trouble am I in?
I’m lost and gone away
Lost and gone away
There’ll be a soft spot in my heart for you
As long’s we both shall live
It’s not for me to say
Not for me to say

When I saw you tonight
I spoke the words and I watched your eyes
And walking home I saw them glowing in the eastern sky
When I saw you tonight

Oh early grey, what kind of trouble am I in?
I’m lost and gone away
Lost and gone away
There’ll be a soft spot in my heart for you
As long’s we both shall live
It’s not for me to say
Not for me to say
And you’re awful far away, oh early grey
But it’s not for me to say

Not for me to say
When I saw you tonight
When our bodies were new
When the world was young

The hungry wolf made by your hands
Thrown by the lamplight to the wall
We howled for hours and now we gotta sleep it off
Just kids on a blanket,
Legs crossed and quiet

Half of everything
Broken off or stalled
Thought I could catch the fall, well
Did I? Did I? Did I? Or didn’t I?

I don’t wanna fight
I don’t wanna fight
Couldn’t do it even if I’m right

Desire walked and left me begging
Laid me across your open hands
Just another notion you might never understand
Making a fist
That’d crush everything you’re holding

I didn’t have to fold
I wanna say I tried
I wanna say I tried, well
Did I? Did I? Did I? Or didn’t I?

I don’t wanna fight
I don’t wanna fight
Couldn’t do it even if I’m right
‘Cause I don’t wanna fight

Now the wolf is in the fold
I wanna say I tried
I wanna say I tried, well did I?

Now we disappear
Into the naked light
You wanna say I’m wrong
I wanna hope you’re right

Shadows a hundred
Quiet and deep
Crept from the oceans
Laid between you and me

I didn’t try to
But I’d hide from you
I could’ve done better
But nobody asked me to

I broke apart for love
But you like your floors clean
I’m too busy to sweep
You’re too busy to dream

Shadows a hundred
Quiet and deep
Crept from the oceans
Laid between you and me

I didn’t try to
But I’d hide from you
I could’ve done better
But nobody asked me to

I could’ve done
I could’ve done better

Walk the hall and say goodnight
Turn a cheek, turn out the light
Laid awake a second night
Feel wrong

Hesitation burned the days alive
The illusion we’ve been living by
All you cradled in your eye
Is gone

And in the back of your mind:
All of the time, we used to shine

I can only reach you when you’re gone
Am I the disappearing one?
My name was first on your tongue
Had ourselves a little fun,
And from the ashes something begun
Our way

And in the back of your mind:
All of the time, we used to shine

Whatever happened to me?
I’m making it through
Whatever happened through the wall?
We never really knew
What happened,
Whatever happened to all of the time?

All of the time, we used to shine
All of the time, we used to shine
We used to shine

The city sank below the clouds
In two dotted lines we froze on the glass
I sang the words, you wrote them down
Not a blue tattoo but something that lasts
Something that lasts
Something I can’t get past

‘Cause Sarah I was in your head
Sarah I was in your head, was I ever in your heart?
Sarah you were in my ears
Sarah you were in my eyes, but you were never in my arms

Was every gift some kind of test?
Half a word from you, and my hand’s on your door
Our perigee, two hearts at rest
Or two parallel lines, alone on the floor
Not asking for more
Like nowhere I’d been before

But Sarah I was in your head
Sarah I was in your head, was I ever in your heart?
Sarah you were in my ears
Sarah you were in my eyes, you were never in my arms

Sarah I was in your head,
But you were never in my arms
And it’s a long, long way to the nearest star

(Settle down, I feel it too,
But I, I, I,
I’m waiting on the bloom
I’m too obsessed to be amused
Too obsessed, too obsessed,
too obsessed, too obsessed)

Look into my eyes
And be a moment still, and a moment wise
Tonight we have undone
The secret pasts we’re running from,
We’re running from

No, not here, why now?
Oh can’t we stitch it up somehow?
Too proud, too late,
It’ll keep us awake, afraid, away, and down
Can’t we stitch it up somehow?

We are staying young
On the blood of the wilder deeds we’ve done
So tonight we close our eyes
And let our graces leave us in their time
All in their time

No, not here, why now?
Oh can’t we stitch it up somehow?
Too proud, too late,
It’ll keep us awake, afraid, away, and down
Can’t we stitch it up somehow?

Why can’t control? Why can’t become?
Why can’t refrain? When can again?
Why never know? Why let it go away?

Slowly we control the pain,
Becoming lonely we refrain again
Again we slowly learn, but never know
We let it go away

No, not here, not now!
Oh can’t we stitch it up somehow?
Too proud, it got too late,
It’ll keep us awake, afraid, away, and down
Can’t we stitch it up somehow?

Laid out in pieces
Wed to the floor
Friends all caught dancing
Out the back door
Not leaving darkness
Not leaving light
They didn't bring nothing
But fit in alright

They don’t deserve my withering eye
It echoes a longing they can’t recognize

Not one to shake a
Ship from its course
Me and my ideal
Split by divorce
You shrug at the burden
You shrug off the cost
And into the fire
With feelings you’ve lost

But you don’t deserve my withering eye
It echoes a longing you can’t recognize

Caught in a slide
And I’m falling right off of my feet
Lost between the tides
And suckered down to my knees

Bred of suspicion
The wolf at the door
Sprung from your mind
With a thundering roar
Stories and histories
Undone by its teeth
Til permanent failure
Was all you could see

But I don’t deserve your withering eye
It echoes a longing I can’t recognize

Sleeping lies and lines of rain
Growing down through the heartwood
Something’s born when old loves they die
And so lay me down and keep me sleeping good

Don’t put your dress back on
It’s just before the dawn
And the light fills your empty shoes
It’s such a fragile start
Our fragile moving parts
So tiny I can’t refuse

When are you coming back?

Let’s make a quiet stand
Let’s hold our sleepy hands
And our faces against the moon
Don’t lose the moment now
Just when I’m learning how
To write a fine line and sing it to you

Faint and precious light
As it came into the night, I saw you
Black against the sky
Pinned between the morning sun and my eye

Before my voice comes burning right through the cold
I wanna know, I wanna know, I wanna know

Am I seeing what I want, or just some fool’s gold?
Am I seeing what I want, or just some fool’s gold?

Still and silent wait,
To see the sunlight bloom across the face I know
And like in all my dreams
Our eyes are just the same green, but I know

That I could only love you cause I know how
Why don’t it go, why don’t it go, why don’t it go?

I wish the feeling would leave me, but it shines like Fool’s Gold
I wish the feeling would leave me, but it
Shines on, it shines on, it shines on.

Maybe I’d always love you cause I know how
But why did I go? Why did I go? Why did I go?

I wish the feeling would leave me, but it shines like Fool’s Gold
I wish the feeling would leave me

Night wonder, our second moon
Bright mirror for the stars
You led us out into the dark

We’ve looked up for centuries
Into your sacred home
You step alone, crystal spark
My comet

I see wild, bright yearning
That quivers deep in your eyes
Immune to lies, some ancient hope

That iris broke the sleep from
The center of my chest,
Show me your best brilliant stroke
My comet

This is my faltering’s silent reappearing,
Deep in my blood
This is my faltering’s desperate reappearing,
Deep in my blood

I adore you, I adore you,
And I don’t know why
You never can be mine, you never will be mine
But I adore you and I don’t know why
My comet

I’ll sleep away the autumn at home
With the moon rising up through the ceiling
The trees all crumbling down to their bones
The weeping eucalyptus bending

When I wake up,
When I wake up, yeah
I’ll be King of Nothing
And why should I care?
And why should I care?
I, yeah, I’m the King of Nothing

Who put these little lies in my head?
What lives inside all of these secrets?
We’re crumbling, crumbling down in your bed,
These rumors too sad to believe in,
So I won’t believe in them

When I wake up,
When I wake up, yeah
I’ll be King of Nothing
And why should I care?
And why should I care?
I, yeah, I’m the King of Nothing

I’ll sleep away the autumn at home,
The trees all crumbling down to their bones,
The moon rising up through the ceiling,
These rumors all I have to believe in,
And I won’t believe in them

With better faces all around me
A bitter future is upon me
I’d open up my eyes

But I can’t leave it alone,
Leave it alone, leave it alone
And why should I?

I can see my father coming out, yeah,
My ghost is growing in the mirror
Looking clearer than my eyes

And I can’t
Leave it alone, leave it alone, leave it alone
And why should I?

And what the hell would me see on the bright side?
Am I freaking out? Is this some puzzle now?
Is there poison in my blood?
Poison in my blood

Why can’t I
Leave it alone, leave it alone, leave it alone?
And why should I?

My only pictures are of other pretty pictures,
Yeah, my ideas are nothing,
Yeah, my ideas are bare as bones
Barren as my bones

And I can’t
Leave it alone, leave it alone, leave it alone
Leave it alone, leave it alone, leave it alone
And why should I?

Look at the sky,
We’re gonna take that sky,
Gonna take it for ourselves
We’re gonna take that sky,
We’re gonna take that sky,
And we’ll rain down from the clouds

Isn’t the wind still blowing?
We’re gonna catch that wind,
Like diamonds catch the sun
We’re gonna catch that wind,
We’re gonna catch that wind,
And we’ll fall down when we’re done

I’ll be the fire, if you’ll be the fuel
And together we’ll go rolling down the hill
And if you’ll be a fighter, I’ll be a flame
We’ll go wild if you only say you will,
And I know that you will

Look at the way you’re dancing,
Well I can’t look away
I see you burn that sand to glass
And when you dance that way,
And when you dance that way,
You turn a cold man’s soul to ash

I’ll be the fire, if you’ll be the fuel
And together we’ll go rolling down the hill
And if you’ll be a fighter, I’ll be a flame
We’ll go wild if you only say you will,
And I know that you will

So come on,
Can you catch me? Can you catch me?
I come running for the city
Can you catch me? Can you catch me?
I come running for the sea
Can you catch me? Can you catch me?
Would you jump across a highway?
Can you catch me? No, you can’t catch me!

This is a history
Of things that never happened
Of things that never happened
Between you and me
I’d rather be unhappy
I’d rather be unhappy
Than lose my memory
Of all the things that never happened

I was there,
Painted into the picture
Some hatchback summer, yeah,
I was there
Just a boy with a blister,
You wouldn’t remember
But I was there

Too unsure to make a sound,
But I wrote it all down

This is a history
Of things that never happened
Of things that never happened
Between you and me
I’d rather be unhappy
I’d rather be unhappy
Than lose my memory
Of all the things that never happened

You were mine
By the water together
With no dark figure there,
You were mine
Tied a string ‘round your finger,
I felt much better, yeah,
You were mine

I was sure, and you were proud,
And I wrote it all down

Some kind of lover
Some kind of bug in my mind
Chewing up my conscience
Spit out the seed and swallowed my pride

I’m trailing blood
I’m trailing blood from my hands
A lit firecracker
Between my lips, I’m a modern man

At the edge of the wheel
That’ll never stop turning
Spun away from the middle
I’ve come alive, come alive

I’ll forget this fever
I’ll forget crawling back to your palm
To feed off of your meaning
Cause I know, I know, I know that it’s gone

I’m at the edge of the wheel
That’ll never stop turning
Spun away from the middle
I’ve come alive, come alive

Your lip’s got a quiver
Telling me there’s something wrong

And my brain just got a shiver
You gotta tell me if there’s something wrong

Goddamn the youth
And goddamn this good excuse
To curse through my teeth and lie
And let my tongue tie a noose

I don’t need your pity
And I don’t need your warning
I don’t care if you hear me
I’ve come alive, I’m alive

At the edge of the wheel
That’ll never stop turning
Spun away from the middle
I’ve come alive, come alive

These eleven days of summer
I have called you
You always come when I call you
But I don’t hear your feet

We swallowed up the river
But still we never found you
The season came and it drowned you
In sorrow and in heat

Oh, what’s happening?
Call it the nation’s,
Call it the nation’s war
Oh, it’s happening
This morning we woke up,
This morning we woke up old

I could feel your breathing
Your healing heart was beating
But now my head is beating
Like the clapper of a bell

The fireworks are funny
The duds fall in the water
Fizzling like futures
The hissing sound of hell

From here the days get shorter
Tireless, but older
Come on, let’s get older
And keep our hands held down

The lights were on all night again
In the first house on the right
The voices echoed around again
And the light shone in my eyes

Looking in the window I thought
Maybe I would see you
In the room at the top of the stairs

And maybe I would see myself
Lying there beside you
Right where I remember
When I used to live there

You called to me, you called me here
To the house all painted white
And I answered ‘cause I knew that I,
I was doing something right

But looking in the window I was
Doing something wrong
Waiting for my heart to slow

And I wouldn’t recognize myself
So young and desperate
A stranger on a corner
In a town he used to know

But I’m still here,
So tell me, where’d you go?

Looking in the window I thought
Maybe I would see you
Staring at the ceiling
Or lost in some strange dream

Maybe I would hear you
Talking to your lover
Your faces cut to pieces
By the window screen

But I’m still here,
So tell me, where’d you go?

We drove there on the thirty-first
And waited for the worst
From underneath the bridge
Crybaby bridge, crybaby bridge

I was looking at her,
But she was looking away
And our eyes swept the shadows
From sea to shining sea
We turned our engines off and stared
In silence and in darkness
On the bridge, crybaby bridge

Did I hear a cry below?
No one will wonder, and no one will know
Did you crawl out the window?
Well isn’t that the saddest way to go?

The river spoke quietly
And wandered towards the sea
And left the bridge to rust
With tiny handprints in the dust

I was looking at her
But there was nothing to say
And our hearts kept beating
We knew we’d find an end
But still it felt like forever
Waiting there together on the bridge,
Crybaby bridge

Mothers, we’re coming home,
We’re coming home to find you
Fathers, don’t turn your eyes away
There’s a new fire burning,
There’s help on the way,
There’s a face in the water:
Do you recognize your son?
Do you recognize your daughter?

You should come over
You should come over
The stars are out
The stars are out
You can ignore me
You can ignore me
I’ve done without
I’ve done without
I have been slipping
I have been slipping out
Through the cracks
Through the cracks
Don’t say a word to me
Don’t say a word
Out the door,
Not coming back

Dusty loners over the moon
Over shoulders, gone too soon

Don’t you dare disappear,
I can’t be alone,
I can’t be alone
Don’t you dare disappear,
I can’t be alone,
I can’t be alone

Get a grip, dear
Get a grip, dear
Just this once
Just this once
I don’t mean to fool you
I don’t mean to fool you
I am only with you once
The full moon is singing
I know what it’s saying,
“One last time,
One last time,”
Everything is never enough
Everything, one last time

You say you found some,
You say you found someone, okay.
And he’s a doctor,
And he’s a doctor, my lord good day

Heavy and empty,
Heavy and empty,
Heavy and empty,
Hearts on fire and heads to sleep,
And Lovers on their hands and knees

Be careful love can,
Be careful love can come
And love can go to hell
And it’s a problem,
And it’s a problem, oh well.

And now you and I,
And now you and I are out of love
And I am born again,
Tonight I’m born again

Your shoes are in the living room
And the keys are in the cellar
The note’s right where you left it
And I guess I don’t care
Your mother keeps on prying
But I don’t think that I’ll tell her
Besides, you lied, I don’t even know where you are

I think about your empty house
And I think about your girlhood,
I think about you thinking of me
That watery stare
Well I just think and I
Think think think
And I wonder if it’ll do good,
Miscommunicating into thin air

And I’m flying up and off the handle
But flying all the same,
Flying up and off the handle
But flying all the same

I, I, I, I, I, I,
I gotta be, gotta be, gotta be crazy,
I, I, I, I, I, I,
should have been holding my tongue.
I, I, I, I, I, I,
I gotta be, gotta be, gotta be crazy,
I, I, I, I, I, I,
should have been holding my tongue.

Well I dreamed I dreamed I dreamed I dreamed
I was choking on feathers,
Flowers of the bone,
Flowers of the bone
And I swallowed them swallowed them
Down down,
And my body got lighter,
And now I cannot sink, I cannot go home

I would run away from the devil’s face
But I’m caught between the sheets
Tumbling and turning deliriously,
Feversleep

My own broken ghost is coming after me,
It’s aching, legless creep
Children, children, I know why you weep,
Feversleep

And I am my own savior, I am my own release,
But holding back my hand is a sentimental streak
And my hand, my hand
Can pull me up or pull me down to
Feversleep

It’s not its rotten fingers that frighten me,
Or its sneering toothless crease
It’s how I can feel its breath on my face
It’s real enough to breathe

And I am my own savior, I am my own release,
But holding back my hand is a sentimental streak
And my hand, my hand
Can pull me up or pull me down to
Feversleep

If you can’t eat
You got to smoke,
And we ain’t got nothing to smoke
So come on, kid,
Let’s go to sleep

If you can’t smoke
You got to sing,
And we ain’t got nothing to sing
So come on, kid,
Let’s go to sleep

Come on, kid
Let’s go to sleep
Come on, kid

If you can’t sing
You got to die,
And we ain’t got nothing to die
So come on, kid,
If you can’t die
You got to dream,
And we ain’t got nothing to dream
Nothing to dream

If you can’t eat
You got to smoke,
If you can’t smoke
You got to sing,
If you can’t sing
You got to die,
If you can’t die
You got to dream

Red bird,
Your wing’s not broken,
Still you cannot fly
You were born to this earth
And it’s to this earth you’ll die

Red bird,
Drunk on water,
Sing your song to me.
You’ll climb so high,
but you won’t sleep tonight

You’ll be there in the morning
You’ll be there when I wake
You’ll be there,
But I won’t hear your call

Red bird,
The stars are silent,
The twilight’s turned you grey
You were born to this earth
And it’s to this earth you’ll stay

Red bird,
Tell me truly,
Tell me who you love.
You’ll climb so high,
But I won’t leave your side

You’ll be there in the morning
You’ll be there when I wake
You’ll be there,
But I won’t hear your call

It must be time to leave,
The sun is coming up
But I can’t even stand up
The morning clouds are rolling in
But the new year’s failing to begin,
It’s too drunk

And I’m the only soul awake, it’s clear
And the silence numbs my ears
But I’ll creep down the hallway soon
And leave the strangers sleeping in the bathroom

This is my tradition,
This is my tradition

The years keep coming on and on
The light in my room turns off and on
My head keeps turning off and on,
And on, and on, and on, and on

I saw you winking an eye at me all night
And I know, and I see, and it’s not right
But a slippery touch and a gentle call
Is all is all is all is all I needed

Well I think about screaming so I do it
I scream “We’re all gonna die!” and no one moves a bit
And it cracks my heart right to the floor
To see the sun rising on an audience so poor

This is god
Coming to his ending
Today is turning on
Finally the ending

Kings of little worlds
Go and make your peace
Today is turning on
Go and make your peace

And I see blood rivers rising
From the lord and the fates
That followed him
And I see blood rivers rising

We have visions
We have visions
Oh my life
We have visions